Question and Answers

Why am I so tired? About defining your limits.

During our conversations with people about the Akaija and their reactions and experiences to it, we notice that notable many people suffer from fatigue, or even chronic fatigue, having the feeling they are drained from their energy, notwithstanding that they are very sensitive and spiritual minded.

Being sensitive means to be more open to what is around us, for the world, for the people, and also for the ‘invisible’, for signals you receive. When you are aware of the needs of other people, you can put yourself in their place, you understand what bothers them, you understand their problems, their pains.

What happens next is that you are attractive to people who need attention and care. People with problems can talk to you about this, and during these conversations they feel better, because someone understands them, they find a hearing ear, a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on.

Someone with a problem, a sorrow, an illness, who needs to be cared for, thinks his/her problem is important. In their experience THEIR problem is the central issue. A patient is allowed to be egoistic, because he or she needs to get better. They, but in fact everyone, have the right to ask for help.

This is fine, as long as they don’t carry their quest for help too far. They need to know what their limits are. They usually don’t know this, so this needs to be made clear to them by others.

Defining your limits this is called, and especially sensitive and spirituel people find this very hard. They sacrifice themselves for the benefit of others. “They need my help!” they say. “I have to do this!” “This ought to be done!” “Isn’t that the right thing to do?!”

Imagine f.e. that someone calls you with a problem that he or she is troubling with. You listen to their story, give some advices, sympathise with them… But after a while you notice that the other is pulling your attention. You want to stop this conversation, but you find yourself listening to ever more of the same. The other obviously notices that you’re done now, but he or she feels fine by this conversation, so the longer they can have your attention, your energy, the better they feel. This conversation feels good to them, because they are energised by it. They don’t feel so lonely anymore. But sometimes these people take it a big step beyond this and start threatening you with words like: “I need to be able to call you, because sometimes I don’t know what I’ll do to myself if I have no one to talk to.”

This behaviour is called ‘moral chantage’ (in Dutch, maybe in English there’s be better word for it). So they make you feel bad when you don’t act the way they wish.
And when you listen to this, they have you at their disposal.

When you’re helping people out of love, you pass on energy/love to the other. This energy you receive from Above, from your guardian angels, and they get it from… The Almighty One, the Universal Source, God, Allah….
Love flows… and flows… such is her nature. You can’t possess Love, you can’t command Love.

But your guardian angels know exactly when to stop, when enough is enough. When you then continue, then from this moment on you’ll be on your own in giving energy. You’ll notice this because you feel “Now’s the time to stop. I’m done for now.” You get tired. You can’t focus your attention anymore. Maybe you have an appointment planned in the next hour or so, or you had something in mind that you want to do next.

When you don’t listen to this inner voice saying ‘enough is enough’, and you keep going, thinking that the other’s problem is your problem, that you have to do this. Maybe you cancel an appointment, or change your plans. You start to wriggle in turns… to keep on helping, you keep on giving energy, you keep listening… and there you go beyond your limits.
But now you use your own energy and not the energy that was given to you by your guardian angel. Your guardian angel knows exactly what is good for you, keeps in mind what is important for you! You have your life, and your life is important too!
Of course there are execptions, emergencies, etc… but if such is the case, then you’ll know. Sometimes the situation justifies extra help. And in such a case you’ll receive all the help from your guides that is needed.

Normally it’s not meant for you to sacrifice yourself. Their problem is their responsibility, not yours! Because when you’ve drained yourself completely for the sake of a few, you’re exhausted, and you’re of no use to others that might need some of your attention. On the contrary… when giving all your energy away, you might get yourself in trouble and then you need the help from others! Was that your aim?

In the therapists’ world there’s a word for this: the Social Worker’s Syndrome. Sometimes people speak of a so-called ‘hole’ in your aura, through which your energy flows away. What it means is that you’re unprotected. Everyone can steal your energy, enter your aura. You don’t protect yourself. Sometimes you might even experience entities, so-called ‘hitch-hikers’ trying to feed on you. Where are your borders? Where are your limits?

Now… what can you do about this?

The answer is really simple in fact:
1. Stay alert.
2. Conquer your fear.

You don’t need to brood about all the difficult things that need you need to do, medications, therapies, etc. What it’s all about it that you learn about the moment that you cross you limits. When someone contacts you, visits you, calls you, wanting to speak to you about his or her problems… and you have time and oppertunity to listen… then listen! Give this person all your attention. But there is a moment when enough is enough (as we say in Holland). You can sense this moment. When you’re sensitive, you can! That’s being alert.

Can you remember situations, conversations, when at a certain moment you started to lose attention, when afterwards you felt terribly tired, etc.? What did you do? Did you continue to pay attention, despite your feeling to break it of now. Why didn’t you continue this conversation? Why did you pay this person a visit, knowing that you had another appointment, knowing that you needed to go to bed, knowing that you were supposed to do something else, even if it was just to relax, take a bath, go for a walk, watch that t.v. series,… Did you have to step in the breach? Was this really the best solution? Maybe… I can’t make the decision for you. Or… was it your fear to say ‘no’. Or… was it your ego, saying how good you help others? Or… is this your pattern your whole life… always doing as you’re told, without standing up for yourself?

That usually is where fear comes into action. Fear for what the other may tell or think of you. Fear to be disapproved of. Fear not to be a dear and nice (wo)man. In fact this has nothing to do with helping others, but with your own fear.
Become aware! Look at all these situations you crossed your limits. Don’t silently blame the other for this… but look what you can do to prevent them from doing so.
Once you are aware of what’s happening… then you automatically know what you need to do.

It will not be easy in the beginning, but once you conquer your fears, you become stronger. Maybe you make mistakes, being to harsh, maybe you stumble several times, maybe you wait too long, or take the wrong action… never mind. Keep looking. Stay at peace.

Someone who is mentally strong, firm in his or her shoes, is an example for others, is able to help others, without losing him/herself in the process.

Now… why do I tell you this story?

During our conversations, on the phone, during expo’s/fairs, in e-mails, we’ve noticed that by some of these people the Akaija doesn’t seem to work as expected. Remarkable however is that the (e-mail)conversation often has this as a fundamental topic. So… is the Akaija involved in this somehow? It seems that these people sometimes are even more confronted with this problem than before.

What the Akaija does is to strengthen your energy system, making it going, restoring the flow. The result can be that you suddenly remember what it was like, how you used to feel, having more energy, feeling stronger, more aware of yourself… because somewhere you’ve lost track, lost your energy, lost yourself.
But if you keep on giving all your energy away, this renewed feeling won’t last for long. Because… if you always give your energy away, forgetting about your limits, then first something has to change… in you! The Akaija confronts you with this, by remembering you about how you used to feel. Reminding you of your… blueprint. What’s more… don’t be surprised that the Akaija may cause you to feel even more tired than before. It makes you aware of what you’re doing!

The real change has to take place within yourself. Your guardian angel really is your guide, showing you the way. He or she brings the Akaija on your way… trying to restore your energy, causing you to remember… wishing you will well again.

So now you need to make a change. As Michael Jackson said: Make that change !

‘We’ wish you all the best.

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